Yet Another 24 Car Ads That Were Too Absurd To Sell Cars


Ah… yes, back to the world of car ads. Let’s do another 24 to help add some priceless fun, out of the many used car tips and quizes I’ve written.

 

Rules are: One car for each ad. Also absurdity rating will be decided at the office.

 

1. You’d run out of fuel on the M6. If you bought one.

Reason: …cause I’ve got the Dodge “running out of fuel” fever.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 0.5/5

 

2. True? Think so.

Reason: Except the X3 was technically awful off the road.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 0.5/5

 

3. Except for one thing.

Reason: Bit’s were more likely to melt, but whatever.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 0.75/5

 

4. If only…

Reason: Well, they are rep mobiles back then. So let’s give Vauxhall some credit.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 0.78/5

 

5. Ruined.

Reason: Yep. Will ruin.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: Well, give these car ads some credit.

 

6. Hey, a BL advert.

Reason: Well, considering how square this car is…

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 1/5

 

7. Wouldn’t that mean turbines though?

Reason: Chrysler?

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 1.2/5

 

8. How to trigger an environmentalist.

Reason: Or watch how Jaguar replied to this.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 1.6/5

 

9. I put this in for the reaction.

Reason: Wai not.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 1.7/5

 

10. OCD? Avoid the A3.

Reason: Just so you won’t phone up Audi.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 2/5

 

11. Wait, what?

Reason: I’m sure the ad men didn’t have this in mind.

Absurd-o-meter rating: 2.3/5

 

12. Traffic?

Reason: It’ll probably fall apart if this were set in real life. And Batman was real.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 2.5/5

 

13. Best? Well…

Reason: I’m sure it still doesn’t take that much charge. The new one, probably.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 2.7/5

 

14. *cough cough*

Reason: Okay, what?

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 2.8/5

 

15. We tried doing it.

Reason: Except a piano fell on it.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 3/5

 

16. Nope!

Reason: If I wanted to do donuts and make it on time, I’d buy an GT86.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 3.9/5

 

17. Noping is the style. In the car’s case.

Reason: I mean, if you want new style, buy the Vauxhall Adam or Fiat 500. (probably the former)

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 4/5

 

18. Skateboards?

Reason: We did agree we’d buy hot hatchbacks after this. They do fit better.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 4.2/5

 

19. Radically vanilla.

Reason: Erm…

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 4.2/5

 

20. You’ll never want to get out.

Reason: Quite a spot on impression of what not to do on the test drive.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 4.33/5

 

21. €0?

Reason: Giving it away?

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 4.5/5

 

22. Explaining why you bought the Santa Fe.

Reason: Despite the fact you can’t see out the back.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 5/5

 

23. Goodness.

Reason: 109 bhp of pure aggression against the people who would buy one.

Absurd-o-meter Rating: It’s on fire, baby.

 

24. You’d think I’d give this one to BL, but…

Reason: More of “designed for the rep mobile of the millennium”

Absurd-o-meter Rating: 25/5

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